It is going to be all right

Have you ever looked into someone's eyes seeking just a glimmer of their former self. Fear is captivating. I am overwhelmed by fear tonight. Not righteous fear but instead a momentary lack of faith. Fear based in this world is nothing more than mourning the loss of a dream, expectation, belief system, coping mechanism...you name your vice. Fear is similar to sprinting towards the cliff of the Grand Canyon out of fear of heights...it is non sensical. The pain already exists so why run when the narrow path is illuminated? Because we have yet to see where the paths leads. In our human nature the pain of tumbling down the cliff seems more comforting than the thought of the pain of the unknown. Faith is the conviction in the unseen.

So it doesn't seem such a stretch to someone like myself to sit in sheer panic as I watch my loved ones stare blankly as the world passes by. I say loved ones because this week has been saturated with moments of sorrow with friends, family and sisters and brothers in Christ suffering.

But as my sage mentor has said many of times..."Feel the pain". In feeling our pain we identify the fear and are able to let it pass. Fear can be momentary when you trust in a Higher Power. You are no longer asking for control by controlling your feelings; instead you are experiencing a God given gift: The gift of feeling. Without pain I do not feel joy. For they are one in the same. Serenity; the feeling of peace in spite of the craziness of the world around you. The feeling you have in your Father's/ Mother's arms as the storms blows and lighting fills the skies.

I have developed an affinity for the monsoon season. The balmy air, uncontrollable winds, the blinding dust storms, the often sporadic down pour. This is life. Tonight I sit outside in the midst of the pending monsoon and feel the pain.

I am not sure how long this emotional monsoon will last. I know the Arizona monsoon's usually pass in single evening. Tomorrow can't come soon enough. But for tonight I am called to let the tears pour out. Bring on the monsoon...